


Memoirs of a Lycanthrope

by Remus (King_Loki_Laufeyson)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:39:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_Loki_Laufeyson/pseuds/Remus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened to the last remaining marauder after that fateful halloween night?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Remus woke, unsure if it was due to the half broken alarm clock or the fact he had just fallen off his bed. As he groaned he tasted blood in his mouth and then tried to get up before crumpling on the floor. Oh, joy. He crawled over to his wand which was inconveniently halfway across the room and the anches and pains started to make themseslves known. He tried to assess his injuries as he made very slow progress across the floor of his flat. 1. Ankle-Probably broken, 2. Left shoulder- Dislocated and 3. A searing pain across his face. It had been another bad night, the drawing winter months with the lengthened evenings always took their toll on the lycanthrope and last night was no different. He had spent the early evening Halloween celebrations with the Potters and their young son Harry before excusing himself early and returning to the safety of his apartment. Last night it had been relatively tidy, this morning it looked like it had been ravaged by a monster, which in Remus' mind was the truth.

He grabbed his wand and tried to repair his ankle and shoulder before standing up shakily and limping to the bathroom. He looked into the mirror and gasped 'shoot!' Three red streaks of blood etched themselves across his nose and cheeks . He spat out the blood in his mouth and cleared away the mess on his face with his wand. How was he going to explain away this? Not to Lily, James or the others but to passers by that would now gawk at him. He was pulled out of his reverie by the sight of an owl carrying the prophet and so he reluctantly tore his eyes away from the scars and limped painfully to the window.

Remus took the folded newspaper from its claws and deposited a sickle into the pouch attached to the ankle. It turned and flew off with as much dignity and composure as an owl could. Remus smirked at the pompous bird and sat down on his bed as per his routine and unfolded the paper. Nothing could have prepared him for the headline.

**HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED DESTROYED AFTER POTTER'S DEATHS**

He read the headline over and over trying to make the words change, to convince him that the newspaper had printed the title wrong or that he had misread it. He read ahead begging the newspaper to explain that it was a different family called the Potters that had died.

_He-who-must-not-be-named was killed last night in the wizarding village, Godric's Hollow. The incident occurred late last night after he attacked the Potters a well-known wizarding family in the area. Witnesses say they saw a cloaked figure entering the Potter's house and moments later the green flash of the Killing curse being performed. The shocked witnesses then went on to say that they heard and saw a large explosion that destroyed part of the house where they assume he-who-must-not-be-named was located as he didn't appear again._

_There is much dispute over how You-Know-Who managed to locate the family that knew that they were being searched for. The general consensus is that their Secret Keeper, Sirius Black, betrayed their whereabouts to he-who-must-not-be-named only moments before he descended on the peaceful household. This has been emphasized by the recent news of the murders committed by Black that you can read more about on page 3._

_We interviewed one of the local villagers who knew the Potters, Bathilda Bagshot. 'Lily and James were nice people, always there to help you out when you needed it. It's such a terrible tragedy to see such a young family torn apart like this. All my best wishes are with their young son Harry.'_

_Harry Potter, their son is said to be the cause of he-who-must-not-be-named's downfall, it appears that after murdering the young boy's parents, he moved onto Harry himself but the spell for reasons unknown to many, didn't affect the Potter's Son. One witness says 'I saw Hagrid, Rubeus Hagrid take Harry from the rubble, I saw the young lad's face, crying he was, but I saw his face and the bright red lighting scar on his forehead.' Sources say this soon to be famous boy is now in safe hands._

Remus' eyes watered as they stared at the page in utter disbelief. Lily and James, gone. He read it over and over trying again to make the words change, to make time reverse and bring back two of his closest friends. His eyes ran over the paper again noticing a detail that the previous read-throughs had skipped. He frantically flipped to page 3 to find a large picture of Sirius staring up at him.

**BLACK KILLS 12 AFTER BETRAYAL OF FRIENDSHIP**

_Sirius Black, believed to have betrayed his best friends James and Lily Potter has today been accused of a second offense after he was seen in the early hours of this morning in a muggle street after killing no less than 12 people which included muggles and another one of his close friends Peter Pettigrew. There were many eyewitnesses that saw the attack and it is extremely unlikely that Black will get away with it. Cornelius Fudge, Junior Minister for the Department of Magical Catastrophes was one of the first to arrive at the scene._

_He had this to say on the topic, 'I will never forget what I have seen today, I arrived to find a huge crater in the middle of the street, so deep it had cracked the sewer below. There were bodies everywhere, Muggles were screaming and Black just stood there laughing, in front of him, the remains of his close friend Peter Pettigrew, some clothes and a finger.' Black is in custody at the Ministry and is to face trial next week. Pettigrew's family have been told._

__Remus sat in shock for at least a quarter of an hour, trying to take it all in. James, Lily and Peter were dead and Sirius had betrayed them all.

His stupor was interrupted by a sharp tap on his window, he turned sharply to see a very familiar black screech owl staring at him through his window. In a daze he stood up and opened the window taking the slightly bulging envelope from its beak.

He stroked it out of habit and shut the window carrying the envelope to his bed. He knew exactly who it was from and this made him all the more hesitant to open it, what if Black was trying to kill them all off, the packet could contain anything. Remus deliberated for what seemed like hours before he figured that if it did kill him, he wouldn't care. He had nothing left to live for. Tentatively he opened the neatly sealed envelope and emptied the contents into his open palm, it contained two things. One, a note and the other was a small glass phial with a silvery liquid in it that Remus recognized. He put the phial down and unfolded the note before wincing at the handwriting.

**_Oi, Moony. Thought you might like to see what happened after you left. Hope you're alright mate. Padfoot_ **

Remus had no other choice, he knew what Black had sent him and he knew he had to see it, look for clues. He walked out of his room and down to the basement that he used more as a living area than an actual basement. He unlocked his trunk and reached to the bottom taking out the case that contained his pensive, a graduation gift from Dumbledore. He let the silvery disk float at just the right height for a moment before pouring in the memory. Taking a deep breath he bent down letting his nose touch the liquid before he was flung into the scene and found himself sitting next to Black.

He stood up instantly not wanting to sit next to the traitor. He walked over to a vacant seat in the corner of the room so he could watch the events in their entirety. He could see himself walking down the garden path and out of sight. He focused again on the room paying particular attention to its occupants. Black sat at the end of the long sofa backing against the wall, he was chatting animatedly with James whilst the latter played with Harry on the floor. Lily was sitting next to Peter on the second sofa watching Harry like a hawk, she seemed to be taking in his every movement about to jump in if James even released his tight hold on Harry. Peter was being quiet as usual surveying the scene as if he himself was looking through a pensive.

The scene seemed so perfect it was impossible to think that the talkative curly haired young man who had just stood up to play with Harry was about to betray them all in just a few short hours. Remus watched his face trying to pinpoint any remorse or guilt that could indicate that he was about to do such a terrible thing but no, there were just smiles. He stared at the youthful wrinkle free face and felt the sudden urge to punch it, make it stop grinning, make it show some of the emotion that Black should have been feeling.

'I should be leaving now.' The squeaky voice from behind him made Remus jump, he turned to see Peter standing up from his chair and looking at Lily and James. 'What's the rush?' James replied looking up at the shorter wizard. Remus could feel the tears returning as he heard the voices of his dead friends. 'Some…um….urgent…things…urgent matters I need to deal with' Peter stammered picking up his coat and facing Sirius then the Potters. 'See…see you la-later.' He left quickly shutting the door behind him and Remus watched as the small wizard hurried down the path. 'I wonder what that was about.' Sirius' calm voice called out, Remus felt the urge to punch him again. 'No idea' James replied with a smirk.

The scene seemed almost too perfect to Remus, he wanted to pause it, to live in this moment forever and to never have to go back to the now very harsh and very lonely reality. Unfortunately that wasn't possible. As Remus just stood there thinking, the Potters and Black carried on with the past festivities and the sight of the latter picking up his coat to leave finally alerted Remus to pay attention. 'I think I should better check up on Wormtail, see if he's ok' the now murder's voice announced 'Thank you for the tea Lily, it was lovely as always. See you around Prongs' he turned to walk out of the door then span around on one foot as if he was just remembering something. 'Better send this to Moony, wouldn't want him to miss out on what happened whilst he was away.' Black raised his wand to his temple and the memory ended.

Remus fell to his knees and just cried, he couldn't believe what had happened. Sirius, their friend, Padfoot, had betrayed them all to you-know-who. He shook with tears, his knees going numb on the cold basement floor.

The seconds became minutes, the minutes became hours and the hours became days. Days in which Remus Lupin mourned. He cried and drank himself and the house dry but couldn't face leaving. The funeral came and went, it had apparently been quite a fancy affair with Dumbledore himself delivering a speech about the tragic loss of Lily and James. Remus had stayed at home, not prepared to leave the room let alone go to the funeral of his closest friends.

He ventured out to visit the grave over a month after their deaths. He stood at the grave and stared, he couldn't cry, he couldn't react, he just stared at the white headstone with the neat engraving:

**Lily Potter James Potter**

**30th January 1960 – 31st October 1981 27th March 1960 – 31st October 1981**

**'The Last Enemy to be destroyed is Death'**

**  
**

The journey away from their grave seemed much shorter than the journey there. On the way he promised himself that he would visit the grave every year. He hadn't been there to help them, he hadn't even said a proper goodbye, it was the least he could do. He also knew that he had to stay strong, little Harry Potter was out there somewhere and one day he may be able to get to know him, to regain that connection with the friends that were now long gone. If he collapsed, if he gave in, he might never see the jet black hair or those bright green eyes again. The he felt himself tearing up at the thought so he tried to shake his mind of the Potters, failing like he had every single moment since their deaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all. This is the first chapter of a fanfiction I wrote ages ago but never continued. But here I am, continuing it. Reviews and comments would be nice but I know how busy everyone is so don't worry if you think it's not worth it. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

A few years passed and as well as the scars on Remus’ face fading so they would only be seen at a close distance, the scars and pain caused by his friends’ deaths had faded too. He woke up one morning with the urge to go out and to actually do something with his life. 

He got changed into something more presentable than the t-shirt and shorts he had worn inside and sorted out his hair, casting a few spells to make it shorter and, after giving up with trying to make it less grey he walked out of the house for the first time in months. 

Remus almost decided to turn around and walk back in when he was confronted with the busy street outside of his apartment door, he persevered though, not wanting a repeat of last time and stepped onto the street, heading towards the village centre. 

The village where he lived was quite small and plain, not too interesting or noticeable. There were a few shops in the centre of town where he could potentially find work but chances were he was going to have to work in the nearby town. This he had more of a problem with, not only could he not commute but it would mean more difficult hours and a lot less sick leave. 

Once he arrived in the main square he looked around the shops for any job vacancies displayed in the window. He smiled for the first time in a while when he saw a sign looking for a part time employee at the bookstore. Perfect. 

The little bell hanging above the door rang as he walked into the shop. He had been here quite a few times before his friends had died, not as much recently but it still smelled the same. After looking around the shop for a few minutes he approached the man at the desk having prepared what he was going to say in his head.   
‘Hello, I’m here to inquire about the job vacancy. I would like to apply.’ Remus smiled, it not quite reaching his eyes as he tried not to be shocked at how underused and rough his voice sounded. 

The man behind the counter beamed in response. ‘Of course! Here’s a little sheet to fill in with your details. We’ve not actually had anyone else show any interest in the job so if you can just write everything down you can start on Monday.’ Remus looked up at him in surprise, not believing his luck. ‘Um…could I have a pen?’ he asked as he realized he had nothing to write with. The man nodded ‘Oh yeah of course, sorry mate.’ He ducked down under the desk and grabbed a pen Remus could write with. 

Remus nodded and started to fill in the form, it was simple enough, name, age, address, all the usual things you would expect on a form like this. Once he was done he handed it back to the bookshop owner who smiled and placed the form under the desk. ‘Brilliant, that’s great!’ He smiled ‘Ok, I’m Danel Sompton, Danel not Daniel, I own the store and you’ll see me around at some points. You’ll meet the other employees later. You’ll start Monday and you have to work for a minimum of 20 hours a week. You can choose when you serve your time yourself and switch them around etc. Pay is £6.50 an hour. Um, anything else? Oh and on Monday Clara will help you settle in and all that jazz. It’ nice to be working with you Mr Lupin.’ 

Danel held out his hand for Remus to shake and he shook it with a genuine smile. ‘Thank you. I’ll see you Monday then.’ He nodded and walked out of the shop, heading back home. 

Monday came and went and Remus admitted to quite enjoying working at the bookstore, Clara was nice and they got along well. She had just finished school and was interested in going into publishing so thought working in a bookshop would help her chances when she had left university. She had shoulder length curly brown hair that she always put up in a ponytail and brown eyes that were so dark they were almost black. 

A few weeks after he had started work he found himself reorganizing the display when he saw a flash of red hair. He looked up and saw a couple walking down the street with their child. The woman had long flaming red hair that reached the small of her back and her husband had messy black hair. Between them was a small child, perhaps 2 or 3 years old, the same age Harry should be. He stared after them, wanting to run and catch them up but knowing that it wasn’t possible and he wasn’t due to finish work for another two hours yet. 

‘Hey, Remy, you alright?’ came Clara’s voice from behind him. He jumped and turned with a smile he’d practiced hundreds of times before. ‘Yeah, just thought I saw someone I knew that’s all.’ The young girl nodded and smiled at him, ‘Nice display by the way.’ She said before walking off to do what she was doing before.   
He watched after her before looking down and shaking his head. He couldn’t, it would be wrong, she was too young and he was a werewolf, it would never, could never work. 

For the next few weeks he always volunteered to do the display, even though it wasn’t his favourite just in case he saw the couple and their child again. Every day he waited in hope for them to walk past, he knew it wasn’t Lily and James but he wanted to see them again to confirm this and let his mind rest. 

Then the letter arrived. He didn’t have to open it to know who it was, the neat green handwriting instantly identified the sender as being Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts’ Headmaster and by far the wisest and maddest person Remus knew. He opened the letter and read. 

Dear Remus,  
I am very sorry for your loss, and I apologize for not getting in contact with you sooner. We at the Order have missed your presence and hope that you will return to us soon. The headquarters haven’t changed and I understand that may be hard for you but there are people that wish to speak to you.  
Sincerely  
Albus Dumbledore. 

Remus frowned, it was a hastily written letter, even by Dumbledore’s standards and he was even more concerned about the contents. Why hadn’t they written to him before if he was missed so much and why now when he had only just settled down. The Order should have ended by now with Voldemort gone, what else could they do. 

He sat, looking over the letter drinking a beer for a few hours before he decided what he was going to do. He put on his old travelling cloak that was moth bitten and scruffy and checked how he looked in the mirror. The scars from that night still marred his face and he knew he looked much older and much wearier. He sighed and left the bathroom, walking over to his fireplace. He threw in some powder and, as the green flames grew he stepped into them and said. ‘Number 12 Grimmauld Place.’


End file.
